Saturday, September 03, 2005
DOE Letter
Dear Department of Energy,
I would like to report a possible episode of price gouging. I would use the Gas Price Watch Reporting Form (http://gaswatch.energy.gov) that you have conveniently provided a link for on your homepage, but my situation is a bit too complex to fit in the “300 character limit” box. Besides, this complaint is not about gas prices. I believe that you, as a government organization, may be the victim of price gouging. As a taxpayer, I am asking for your full cooperation in this sensitive matter. I want to ensure that you have not been victimized into spending an unfair amount of the money that I provided you in April of this year. I believe that your very own employees might be engaged in the despicable act of price gouging. There is a strong possibility that many of your employees are unfairly profiting from the money that you are forced to pay to them. You can, of course, determine if this atrocity is occurring by simply comparing the amount that they are charging you for their labor to the amount of their expenses. If there is an “unfair” disparity between the two then the price that you pay for the employee’s labor should be immediately lowered. After all, these are tough times and we want to be fair to everybody. There is no room for unfair profiteering. Since justification of prices is such a subjective matter, I will be more than happy to help in any way that I can. I will ensure that no one is using any of their unfairly accrued profits to save for the future, or to invest in own human capital, or to invest in their families. If we work together I am positive that we can relinquish this matter in a timely fashion.
Thank you for your concern.
Adam Gifford
Economics Instructor
Lake-Sumter Community College
I would like to report a possible episode of price gouging. I would use the Gas Price Watch Reporting Form (http://gaswatch.energy.gov) that you have conveniently provided a link for on your homepage, but my situation is a bit too complex to fit in the “300 character limit” box. Besides, this complaint is not about gas prices. I believe that you, as a government organization, may be the victim of price gouging. As a taxpayer, I am asking for your full cooperation in this sensitive matter. I want to ensure that you have not been victimized into spending an unfair amount of the money that I provided you in April of this year. I believe that your very own employees might be engaged in the despicable act of price gouging. There is a strong possibility that many of your employees are unfairly profiting from the money that you are forced to pay to them. You can, of course, determine if this atrocity is occurring by simply comparing the amount that they are charging you for their labor to the amount of their expenses. If there is an “unfair” disparity between the two then the price that you pay for the employee’s labor should be immediately lowered. After all, these are tough times and we want to be fair to everybody. There is no room for unfair profiteering. Since justification of prices is such a subjective matter, I will be more than happy to help in any way that I can. I will ensure that no one is using any of their unfairly accrued profits to save for the future, or to invest in own human capital, or to invest in their families. If we work together I am positive that we can relinquish this matter in a timely fashion.
Thank you for your concern.
Adam Gifford
Economics Instructor
Lake-Sumter Community College
# posted by The Professor @ 7:17 PM 
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I am intrigued...someone offering me free stuff. I really hope that this whole "internet" thing stays around for a while...
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